Aparigraha: How to Let Go

Aparigraha is the practice of non-attachment + non-hoarding, both physically + emotionally. It emphasises letting things naturally come and go, rather than resisting + holding onto them tightly. It encourages a sense of flow and release, rather than accumulation.

Letting Go

Aparigraha, the fifth + final yama, is composed of the Sanskrit words “a” meaning “non,” “pari” meaning “on all sides,” and “graha” meaning “to grab,” “to take,” or “to hold.” Its essence is captured in the translation of non-hoarding, non-holding, + non-attachment.

Like all the yamas, aparigraha finds relevance in various aspects of our daily lives. We can apply it to releasing attachments to thoughts, the past, experiences, situations, habits, and much more.

Nature beautifully demonstrates the balance of letting things go naturally in their own time, without excessive gripping and holding. Just observe the trees as they gracefully release their leaves in autumn, patiently awaiting the rebirth of new life.

Letting go creates space for new experiences to enter. However, we cannot invite new energy if we are consumed by things we are unwilling to release.

Letting go is not an easy task; it requires stepping out of your comfort zone. Yet, when you embrace it, you will discover freedom, liberation, and a sense of lightness. So, how do we attain that state? Through the practice of aparigraha.

Non-Attachment

Non-attachment does not imply forgetting; rather, it means not holding onto things longer than necessary. What can it teach you? How can it strengthen you? How can it facilitate your growth? These are the lessons inherent in the practice of aparigraha.

“Letting go is teaching me that I’m not losing- but receiving. I’m gaining knowledge, resilience, + room in my heart for something greater.” - Alex Elle

In order to know where we’re going, we need to know where we are. So, like all self-discovery and self-awareness work, we need to begin healing from within so that we have the energy to share + be of service to the world. After all, we can’t give what we don’t have, and how can we share the energy of aparigraha if we haven’t experienced it ourselves?

"A feeling of aversion or attachment towards something is your clue that there is work to be done." - Ram Dass
We need to get quiet, so that we can listen to how we’re feeling + what is binding us. After all, how can we listen if we don’t get quiet? When we become aware of heavy, stagnant + stuck energy, it highlights work that needs to be done.

Naturally, when you keep recalling an experience, situation, or thought, you are strengthening the neural pathway with the brain. You’re literally giving it life in the form of a strong attachment. So if you’re over-thinking + over-analyzing it, it’s going to make it hard to let go of.

Get Clear + Quiet

It’s often when we get quiet that the attachment takes center stage. So it’s a perfect opportunity to make a choice. To continue thinking (and feeding the attachment) OR focus on your breath, a mantra, your body, the space you’re in, your environment. Basically anything in the present moment. Attachments are from the past or the future (anxious thoughts about something that hasn’t happened yet). The attachment doesn’t exist in the present moment – only in your mind. YOU have a power within you to decide where you want your energy to flow in the present moment – on the attachment or away from the attachment. I’ll admit. It’s not easy. But every time you bring your focus back from the attachment, you’re creating a healthy neural pathway of letting go. You’re giving energy into the practice of letting go.

Often we hold onto unhealed traumas from our childhood + our past. I highly recommend you seek out the help of a professional to journey through this. It won’t be easy but the only way is through. The other option is to keep holding on + you deserve to liberate whatever is disturbing your personal peace.

Healthy Attachments

Attachments are part of being human + healthy attachments bring us joy, happiness, fulfillment, growth, thriving, support + connection.

Unhealthy attachments are the opposite. Practicing ahimsa + reminding yourself that you are worthy + deserving of personal peace. Your peace is priceless. What disturbs your peace is what you need to let go of. Excessive attachment to anything in life makes you mentally enslaved.

"Love yourself enough to loosen your grip + let go of what needs to be freed." - Alex Elle
Aparigraha requires stepping out of a fixed mindset + into a growth mindset. It requires us to be patient. To respect that the brain works hard to form attachments, whether they are healthy or unhealthy, and therefore, they are strong. But you are strong enough to let go of old ways of thinking + move on so that you can receive what is truly meant for you.

It takes 10,000 repetitions to create a new habit. Patience is not simply the ability to wait, but how we behave while we are waiting. In the words of James Clear – “If you want to master a habit, start with repetition. Not perfection.”

'"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read + write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." - Alvin Toffler

Practice Letting Go

So here are some things you can explore, reflect on + practice. Let go so you can let in.

- Let go of being reactive. Let in time to pause + respond. Remove yourself from a situation to gain clarity or take a deep breath. You get to choose how you respond in a present moment.

– Let go of unhealthy + toxic

relationships in your life. Let in healthy + high vibrational relationships.

– Let go of living in the past/future + let in being present.

– Let go of overthinking your past/future + let in being reflective of the past + planning for your future.

– Let go of attachment to labels: “I’ll be happy when . . .” + let in “I’m grateful for all I have + patient for all that is coming.”

– Let go of a low vibrational + fixed mindset. Let in a high vibrational + growth mindset.

– Let go of overcommitting your time/energy + disregarding your boundaries. Let in honoring your boundaries.

– Let go of silencing yourself + your needs. Let in listening to yourself + your needs.

– Let go of taking things personally. Let in mirroring a situation – what is it doing for you? Could it be reflecting someone else’s hurt that they are projecting? Can we be of service?

– Let go of a negative ‘What if’ mindset. Let in a positive ‘What if’ mindset.

– Let go of ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I’m too old’ ‘I’ve always been this way’ mindset. Let in ‘I AM good enough’ ‘It’s never too late’ ‘I’m willing to change old ways of being’ mindset.

Words of Wisdom

The time to let go is NOW. I want to leave you with some words by Robert Greene that I feel really embody the practice of aparigraha. There’s lots of wisdom to be received here!

“We all carry with us traumas + hurts from early childhood. In our social life, as we get older, we accumulate disappointments + slights. We are often haunted by a sense of worthlessness, of not really deserving the good things in life.

We all have moments of great doubt about ourselves. These emotions can lead to obsessive thoughts that dominate our minds. They make us curtail what we experience as a way to manage our anxiety + disappointments. They make us turn to any kind of habit to numb the pain. Without realising it, we assume a negative + fearful attitude toward life. This becomes our self-imposed prison.

But this is not how it has to be.

We can free ourselves. It comes from a choice, a different way of looking at the world, a change in attitude. This freedom essentially comes from adopting a generous spirit toward others + toward ourselves. By accepting people, by understanding + if possible even loving them for their human nature, we can liberate our minds from obsessive emotions. We can stop reacting to everything people do + say. We can have some distance + stop ourselves from taking everything personally. Mental space is freed up for higher pursuits. Once we feel the exhilarating power from this new attitude, we will want to take it as far as possible.”

You can always choose to start again.

Lean More

Learn more about apariagraha + how to live a yoga-inspired life over on the Inspired Club.